My chiropractor said to me last night that it takes a special kind of person to be a step-parent. She has a sister and a sister-in-law in the same situation. I suppose that’s true. I don’t know if I’m some special kind of person, though. I’m just as flawed as anyone else. I guess it does take the right kind of person, as flawed as we all are. You have to be open enough to loving someone else’s child. And then sometimes I wonder if I am the right person because I’m not ok with only being a step-parent, I want to know what it’s like to be a real parent. I do love those boys, though. I chose this morning to be a few minutes later coming into work so I could see the 1st Elf on the Shelf with them (I choose my start time so let’s not get too excited, lol). And I was exhausted last night and I could have just gone to bed, but we had to do the Elf and we had to make lunches. Those boys are important to me and so is being a part of the daily things. Yet, I struggle with it as much as anyone would, I think. Kim. Is. Awful. And it SUUUUUUCKS to know that she will always be awful where we are concerned, barring some kind of miracle. Everyone wants to believe they’re some kind of special person. I don’t know if I am. And even as I am self-deprecating and I say that, I know that not everyone would be willing to take on what I have. That’s pretty much my entire argument as to why he should stop believing that I’m going to be like Kim and see me for who I am (and have a baby with me, of course). This is my daily struggle. As I finally have a working picture frame on my desk (it took bringing my other frame!) and I watch pics of the kids at my cottage, my favourite place in the world… how will I ever let them go?
Chiropractor is right… this kind of person needs an outlet.