Doubling down

Apparently I am doubling down on this family. I wrote about 30 Christmas cards today and I signed them from all of us. Some of them even got a picture of all of us, to remember our little family by when this all blows up in my face. I think it’s what I do. What did I do when I wasn’t sure Mike and I would work? I married him. What do I do now? Send out family pics and cards signed from all of us. So it’ll be uber obvious if we end things and I can worry (again) about what everyone is thinking. Sigh… but in a vacuum, without all the worry, that’s what I want to do. This is my family and I need to believe this will work. 

I was with my mom today so I missed bedtime and Reegan apparently asked for me and made me promise I would rub his back when I got home. That means everything to me. Gonna carry these two little guys up to bed, reset the elf, and then head to bed myself. All in. You can’t say I didn’t try. 


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