I spent the last year trying to balance being both a step-mom and a stage manager, having a family and having a theatre group to be a part of… well, that group decided to fold, so I no longer require that balance. And I find myself dreading not having an outlet, not having my own thing, not really making my own friends… the theatre holds the key to my identity, my self-image, in many ways my self-esteem, my passion, my circle of friends… I feel sad. At times I felt like a bad parent for putting all of that first. At times I felt like it made me a better parent because I felt better about myself, more like myself. It is the thing that makes me who I am. And I also feel sad that being their step-mom doesn’t make me who I am. It’s shaped me in ways I don’t think I’ll ever fully realize or understand… but the theatre… the theatre is a part of me as much as I am a part of it. I’ll find a new place to land. Until then, I will take a well-earned break and hope for good things.