A Step-mom Navigating Mother’s Day

This really felt like my first Mother’s Day. When I got home from work on Friday, Reegan gave me a gift he made for me at school. When I booked lunch for my mom, he told me to say there were two mothers, and when he planned a Mother’s Day meal with his mom, he meant that to be for me, too. We ended up arguing about it and that’s how I found out, but certainly the intention is there. I really didn’t understand that they would celebrate me… a step-mom is its own unique thing and I know I’m not their mom, I know my role is unique. My gift from Reegan

The kids woke me up this morning with home-made cards, and I love them. Can I wake up that way every day? Lol.


Today, the boys went to be with their mom, as they should. Reegan ran back into the house so he could show his mom the gift he gave me. He ran back to find his coat, without the gift. When Curtis asked him, he said his teacher didn’t know he needed two. She kept it. Part of me feels bad for her, how awful to find out that your son gave your Mother’s Day gift to his step-mom, and part of me is furious at her for putting him in the middle. Of course I’m sad, that was my first Mother’s Day gift, I was going to hang that baby in a place of honour. I was so proud of it… poor kid must have felt so awkward. Curtis said he took it out of his backpack and said he made it for me. It must be hard to be a kid with two families. 

I worry about what she is going to say, I worry about the fight we caused. Will she stop taking the kids to sports, will she keep all of Curtis’ Father’s Day gifts for her husband? Will she make us out to be the a-holes who stole her gift? Or will the taking of the gift and what it represents be enough? 

I am not their mother. I am my own special person in their life. I am secure enough in myself as a person and in my role in their life to understand that. And to feel bad for everyone involved in this – her, Reegan, Curtis for having to see that, myself. Shared custody is a hard thing for everyone. And on the other hand… that woman stole my first Mother’s Day gift. 

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