Baby it’s Cold Outside, Winter 2020/2021
As we came to the end of 2020, it was a quiet one. We had a small 14th birthday party for my oldest stepson, with just two friends. All things considered, I think he had a good time. I found that all the kids really suffered from the lack of time with their friends. When I look at him now, in 2022, and how he spends time with his friends, I could see that he was really closed off at the time. He didn’t want to go out and do things, so a quiet birthday seemed normal, but was more of a pandemic casualty than I realized at the time.
December 2020 also marked the moment we decided not to have any more kids. My super young OB was back, and I got my IUD. Given the current 2022 state of the world, I feel so lucky to be in Canada where this choice is an option for me. It was also really great to see her again. Once I transferred to my super London OB, I didn’t go back to Stratford to see her. Too high risk. It was wonderful to thank her and let her know we were all ok. Austin was a chubby little dude and she told me I was doing something right. It was nice to close that door properly.
At this time, the world was still locked down so it was looking like Austin’s first Christmas would be a quiet one. I was a bit sad that we couldn’t get Santa pics but, luckily for me, I have a supremely talented friend with her own toddler and a costume room in her basement (looking at you, Morna). The pics are fabulous, and I’m so glad we got to capture that moment – no masks or anything. It still makes me sad for those who missed out on those moments with their pandemic babies. We missed out on so many things.
Given the pandemic, Austin’s first Christmas was uneventful. We took the annual “Christmas jammies from Auntie K” pic and sent it to her since she wasn’t comfortable coming to see us with the next wave of covid taking the world by storm. Then, the boys went to their mom’s house, and we had no Christmas visitors. We didn’t celebrate anything until the boys came back on Boxing Day. Austin was too little to really understand so it was a good year for them to be away. It was just another day.
The rest of the holidays were quiet. The boys were at their mom’s for New Years as well so Curtis and I quietly rang in the New Year together. It was actually really nice. New Years is my favourite holiday. There’s something so wonderful about a fresh start and New Years resolutions. I try to leave all the bad in the year before – which was my theory when leaving 2019, but that didn’t really work out for me. I was hoping this year would be different.
The boys did more homeschooling right after the holiday. Once again, I was left running ragged trying to manage it all. I was running in between the two younger boys’ classes and looking after my own kid, who was starting to move. And then one day, my son decided to start standing on his own and we hadn’t lowered the crib yet. That ended badly…
I remember it clearly, I was helping my youngest stepson with math and writing on his white board when I saw Austin stand up on the monitor… I ran from the kitchen to his room, but I was too late, he flipped over the side of the crib and fell to the floor. He cried and I cried, and I called Curtis.
Curtis rushed home and we called the doctor’s office. We didn’t want to bring him to emergency in the middle of a pandemic without at least talking to someone first. Austin had calmed down by then and they said it sounded like he was ok. They figured he had fallen on his back but said we should continue to monitor him. It felt like a miracle. Still, that was one of the scariest days/nights of my life. Right after that phone call, we lowered the crib. Yikes. That kid has bumped his head so many times… it’s all very concerning. I watch too many football documentaries about CTE. I know they say babies bounce, but my poor little dude.
In the spirit of miracles, wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles – the kids went back to school after those initial two weeks. I had planned to go back to work early, in January, and let Curtis take part of my maternity leave but I ended up taking these last couple of months to try and have a “real” mat leave with Austin. I don’t really “do cold” so we spent our time inside reading and playing. Those were wonderful times. I’m glad I took the extra time to be able to enjoy him.
I had ordered matching Christmas jammies and sent them to my boss in South Carolina. She mailed them to me in November… and we got them on January 16th. I left my Christmas decorations up so I could take the obligatory Christmas jammie pic. Totally worth it. I will say, we all learned how to roll with that. I’m pleased to say that was a huge success. Now that I think about it, I think I ended up bribing them with candy to get those pics… still worth it.
I also had a banner moment at the beginning of 2021. For the first time, maybe EVER, I wasn’t the bad child.
As I mentioned, my brother lives alone in Ottawa. He also works for the federal government and was working from home. The pandemic hit him harder than almost anyone I know. He was depressed about being so isolated, but also terrified of getting sick, or of someone else getting sick because they came to visit him. He was also angry that my mom was inviting herself into his “safe space” but couldn’t express that to her. I was the one who had to break the bad news to my mom. He doesn’t like the conflict so I told him I would handle it for him… and so I did, and somehow also ended up not being the bad child. It never lasts, my mom and my brother are too close for that, but I enjoyed it while I could.
With the pandemic on the upswing after the holidays, inevitably, hockey was cancelled. We started back into a lockdown. We had another birthday where nothing was open. My middle stepson was the next one to miss out. We had a small sleepover (since he saw those kids in school, anyway), but he didn’t get the kind of party he wanted. The skatepark was closed.
January 2021 also marked one year post surgery for me. One year. Wow. That year flew by – and also took forever. My leg healed nicely, and my doctors were all happy. No sign of anything in my lungs or my leg. I wasn’t out of the woods, but it felt like a huge milestone.
Our quiet, locked down, winter included moving our yearly Superbowl party online. We did this every year at our old house and, in 2020 (pre-pandemic), it was cancelled because of my leg. This year, we brought it back remotely – without video, lol. No one needs to see how involved in football I get. We still did prop bets and had a group chat, and I was sooooo close to winning the pot… until I didn’t. Yeesh, way to pick the right Gatorade colour, Adam. It was a great way to roll with the punches. Pandemic win.
When I look back at that winter, even though we were crazy locked down, we had some really good times. Being on mat leave at that time was a bit of a blessing in disguise.