Who Am I?
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written on here and, as the title may tell you, I’ve had quite a ride during this pandemic… Some wonderful things and some really hard (like really hard) things. I’ve decided to document my journey.
In case you’re new to Stepparenting 101, I really am proof that you can survive more than you ever thought possible and if my story can help even one person, it’s worth sharing. Even if it just remains as a story I can tell my son one day, I’m glad I chose to share it.
I had the idea for this book long before I thought I would write it. The night I decided it had to be done was after a big fight. I was beyond exhausted, and I felt that my husband didn’t “let me” go to bed as early as I wanted. He wanted me to spend time with him and his other kids (a very noble intention). It was also the day our roof leaked, our basement flooded, and my husband was beyond stressed.
As my husband tried to get the kids to bed early so I could go to bed, and we existed in this super stressy space, my husband sat on the bed and it broke. Thus, the universe was hitting us both right where it was going to hurt the most.
I realized that we were going to have to get up tomorrow and do it all again. There are no quitters in this house. How the $&@% were we going to manage that? But, at least so far (knock on wood), manage we did.
I was just watching a show where someone said you have to give the audience a reason to care about the main character. That main character is… me. We’ve all had such a bumpy ride, why does my story matter? Why am I interesting?
Who am I? Yeesh, that feels like a loaded question.
Let me start again…
My name is Katrina. If you’re new here, it’s nice to meet you! I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada.
Like many of us, I haven’t had a “easy” life. My mom has a whole host of health problems. My parent divorced when I was a teenager. In those teenage years to my early twenties, my father struggled with mental illness and alcoholism, until it eventually became too much for him and he took his own life. My dad and I were super close and, almost 20 years later, I still miss him every day. His death shaped my life profoundly… but that’s not the story I’m here to tell. Maybe I’ll save it for the sequel.
Obviously, as the title tells you, I’m a wife, a mom, and a stepmom. What it doesn’t tell you is I’ve actually been married once before. That ended… badly. With both of us doing hurtful things (and luckily with no kids). Maybe that can be my third installment. I can write a trifecta of my sad stories and show that, deep down, I’m still an optimist.
Those things shaped me into the woman I am today and have made me a better, stronger person.
So… what you’re here for – the main event, as it were… Who Am I? I am stepmom to 3 amazing boys. Three pain-in-the-butt, saucy, pre-teen/teenage boys whom I love like crazy. I am also a mom to a funny, smart, adventurous, (and saucy) little boy.
I am an Export Compliance Professional. Uh… what is that? At the time of writing this, Russia has invaded the Ukraine. There is a lot of talk on the news about Economic Sanctions and Export Restrictions on Russia as a result. The application of those measures is where I live, professionally. Basically, I study the regulations and tell my company what they can and cannot do to comply. I set limits to keep my company out of trouble. It’s makes me super popular at office parties, let me tell you.
Outside of work, I am a theatre junkie. This is where my real passion is. I love watching theatre and, most of all, doing live theatre. Once I had dreams of this being my livelihood as well, but it turns out I don’t have the stomach for it. I need more stability and not to go from job-to-job. So, I do Community Theatre instead, although I tend to lean to the production side and Stage Managing more than performing. I like to organize things and people and to be a keeper of the magic.
That’s actually an expression I heard when talking about the reason we try so hard at Christmas with things like the (dreaded) ‘Elf on the Shelf”. We are the keepers of the magic. That’s how I see my role in the theatre. I am a Stage Manager, the keeper of the magic, protecting the vision of the creative team.
I am also a wannabe writer – mostly theatre to this point. Over the years I’ve not completed a LOT of projects. This could still end up being one more to add to that list. It’s only day one. Lol.
Other things I want to be… a runner, a singer, a guitar player, a creative-project-doer – although I rarely have the follow-through needed to be any good at any of these things. That’s probably the thing I’d like to change most about myself – I dream big, but rarely have the follow-through to finish things.
I am a huge sports fan, mostly hockey and football. I’m a die-hard Steelers and Leafs fan. But I also dabble in baseball (Go Jays!) and college basketball/football and, of course, the Olympics. When I was younger, I found that I related to men more than women because of this. I like being the girl who can talk sports with the boys. Which is funny now because I live in a house with 5 boys, and I get bored of some sports pretty quickly. (Here’s looking at you, motocross).
All of those personality tests you can take show I’m a bit of everything. A bit of an oxymoron. I was a super awkward kid who had enough friends not to be totally bullied, and any time I got too close to the “cool kids”, I ended up in tears. I am definitely not cool. I went to school for theatre and French. Even though I was a theatre kid, I wasn’t really comfortable with the attention (which can be problematic when you’re in theatre – and how I ended up working backstage). I am both an extremely creative person and a person who likes rules, order, and learning about foreign regulations. (NERD ALERT!). I am both very silly and very serious. I have a desperate need to know things and I am too smart for my own good sometimes. For example, I am way too involved with the love lives and showmances of The Wiggles because my son loves them and that makes me want to know all about them, and Australia, and how it developed to be so much like their Western counterparts and not like the Asian countries they are so geographically close to – yes, I hear how that sounds…
I shouldn’t judge… I have dated my fair share of losers over the years. I used to have terrible taste in men. That was actually a book that I started, but never finished, “If I Would Date Them, You Shouldn’t, and Other Rules to Live By”. It’s for the best. When I wrote it all out, it wasn’t funny. I expected Sex and the City or He’s Just Not That into You (because I felt like my life could be a storyline in either of these) and got a sad story instead. Yuck.
Most of all, I try to be a good person. I don’t always win that battle, but I try. I try my hardest to make good choices and do what is right. I am imperfect, but hopeful, and I keep trying.
Step-Parenting 101 